Finding Solace Read online

  “Lips soft too, just like I imagined.” I pull her forward and lay a soft kiss on her forehead and mutter against it, “I better go before I get carried away and possibly disrespect my Gram’s house.”

  I hear her sigh and feel her nod against my lips. I force myself to let her go and walk towards the door. Looking back, she has one hand placed where mine was seconds ago and the other pressed against her lips.

  “Good night, Gracie. Sweet dreams,” I say as I walk out the door.

  I hear a soft, “Good night, Demon Zeke.”

  Gracie

  I feel his eyes on me the entire evening. I try not to look, but I can’t help it. I want to make sure he’s actually looking at me and it’s not my imagination.

  It’s not.

  I feel myself blushing every time we make eye contact. It’s difficult to remain calm with him sitting there looking all gorgeous. There were several times that someone would be talking to me, and I wouldn’t hear a thing they said. I’m instead straining to hear the conversation he is carrying on with Flower. I catch myself laughing out loud at some of the things I overhear. He’s so incredibly sweet in his interactions with her.

  Before I know it, everyone is gone but me and Zeke. I can feel myself begin to sweat. I tried to get him to leave saying I could finish cleaning up myself, but he refuses.

  I’m struggling to find something to say and come up with complimenting him on his lady lock skills. It takes everything in me not to bust out laughing at his response. Instead I take the route to almost criticize his flirting.

  When he falls silent and I feel his finger run across my neck, I completely freeze. If I didn’t know better, he looks like he’s going to kiss me. Why the hell is he looking at me like that, and why the hell would he want to kiss me?

  He grabs the back of my neck and compliments my eyes. The sensation of his strong warm fingers and thumb makes my whole body hum. Just as my eyes start to flutter close, he says he’s going to kiss me.

  My eyes fly open in shock, and before I can do anything, he leans in and presses his lips against mine. It’s over before I really have a chance to enjoy it, and I’m still not sure if I imagined it or not.

  The gentle kiss he gives me on my forehead seems more significant somehow.

  I watch him as he walks out the door and all the way over to the apartment. When he disappears from view, I’m snapped out of my trance.

  It was just a kiss and nothing more. Right? I can’t over think this, it’ll just lead to a broken heart. There’s no reason I can’t enjoy his company while he’s here though. I mean for the next week and a half I’ll have the chance to get to know him better and gain a friend. Plus, if I ever want to go to Texas, I’ll know someone there.

  I go through my routine of getting ready for bed. It’s later than I normally like to go to bed, and I know I’m going to be dragging tomorrow.

  It’s really hot in my bedroom from all the baking that happened today. Pam turns off the central air as soon as the evenings start to cool, but I don’t think she thought about the heat from the oven from today.

  I take a quick shower and walk over to my bedroom wrapped in a towel. Flipping on the light, the ceiling fan starts spinning. The air starts to instantly cool a bit pulling in the night air from my open windows. I drop my towel and pull on a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top.

  Reaching up to pull the chain to turn off the light, my room goes dark. Once my eyes adjust, I see a silhouette in the window from the apartment. Shit, I totally forgot my room faced in that direction. Fuck. Did he see me? How much did he see? Oh my God. If he had any interest in me before, I’m sure it was squashed the moment he saw all of this.

  I mentally chastise myself. I hate that these insecurities seem to consume me. I’m beautiful and I know this. Someone will see it one day.

  I smile as I crawl into bed. Who knows, maybe Zeke liked what he saw. If he didn’t, his loss. I feel a tinge of excitement thinking of him watching me. Hell, this could actually be fun. I could put on a little show every night. Imagining him getting off is a total turn on. An older song pops into my head as I reach under the covers and into my shorts. I find myself completely wet. A give myself a quick orgasm and fall into a deep sleep.

  Zeke

  I can still feel her lips against mine. The flash of her blue eyes has embedded themselves into my brain.

  As I’m grabbing my night clothes for a quick shower, I notice a light going on in the main house. I find myself walking to the window. What I see takes my breath away. I shouldn’t be looking. This is so wrong, but I can’t seem to make myself look away.

  The ceiling fan is making the shear curtains move and causing me to almost go into a trance. I’m stunned as I see the towel drop and see her glorious body on full display. She is like a goddess you see in the old time oil paintings. All woman. Full breasts that I can see myself worshiping. Those curves that a woman should have, but so many think aren’t sexy, are right in front of me. I wish I could transport myself over there right now.

  I have an erection that trumps all erections I’ve ever had in my life. I can’t help but reach down and palm myself through my jeans. I groan as I see her pull on her sleep shorts and then a tank top. To cover up that masterpiece is almost criminal.

  The light goes off and I’m still standing here watching, wanting more. Both of our windows are open. I can no longer see her, but I think I hear the rustle of the covers being turned down and her crawling into bed. It may be my imagination, but I think I hear her let out a soft moan. It instantly sends a joint down my spine and straight to my groin. Looks like I will have to take care of things in the shower.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Heart to Hearts

  Zeke

  Today I get to hang out with the guys in the wedding. We are getting our tuxes and going to dinner and getting drinks. There’s quite a crew of us, both young and old. Although the uncles are not actually in the wedding party, Akia wanted them in tuxes.

  Uncle Bradley pulled Uncle Bruce into one of the changing rooms after he came out in his tux. I heard Uncle Bradley mumble something like “still delicious” as he shoved him in and closed the door.

  I see that nothing has changed over the years. I can remember that two of the three would always seem to disappear when we were together in public. Sometimes it would be all three of them. When I would ask either of my parents where they had gone, I would get the explanation that their love was very strong. They were not always comfortable with showing it in public. So, when any of them would feel the need to express it, they would find somewhere private to do so.

  I find it inspirational that love can withstand the test of time. However, being older, I understand what really is going on. Yet, I still feel both grossed out by the fact they are still doing things when they are so old, and encouraged that they still can do things being that old.

  They both come back out several minutes later with their tuxes slung over their shoulders. Uncle Bradley has his arm around Uncle Bruce’s waist and is smiling ear to ear.

  “Been a while since we’ve done that. Well, we’ve had our appetizers, let’s head out so we can get our main course grub on, boys,” Uncle Bradley announces.

  There’s a sound of a few groans and laughter through the store. As my dad says, “Do you really feel the need to overshare there, bud?”

  “Well, yes, I actually do. These boys need to know that even when they get old, there’s still hope they won’t lose their mojo,” Uncle Bradly boasts.

  Laughing, Doug slaps Uncle Bruce on the back. “Okay, you two. Our reservations are coming up at the restaurant. We need to head out.”

  I’ve been doing a mental tally of positives and negatives on Doug. Even though I’m okay now with Akia getting married, I’m still not sure I’m okay with her marrying Doug. So far, he has all positive tick marks. The fact that he seems so comfortable and acceptable of Uncle Bruce and Uncle Bradley, helps him in the positive category.

  Once we get to
the restaurant, we are seated in the back at a few tables to accommodate us all. I’m sitting in-between my dad and Uncle Chance.

  While talking to the group, I feel an arm come around my shoulder. “So glad you made it home for this. You know how important you are to my girl, right? How are you holding up?” Uncle Chance asks in my ear.

  “Um, she means the world to me, too, wouldn’t miss it for the world. But why are you asking me how I’m holding up?” I ask.

  “Take a quick walk with me, will you?” he asks.

  We excuse ourselves from the table and go outside to the enclosed patio.

  Uncle Chance clears his throat. “I know how much you care for Akia. I know that she felt like it was her fault that you left the way you did. I want to make sure you are okay with all this. It would kill her if you didn’t accept Doug.”

  “You knew?”

  “I think everyone in the family knew, Zeke. It was written all over your face every time you looked at her. Your family has a knack of being able to identify love when we see it,” he responds.

  “We’ve cleared that up already, sir. We are good. It wasn’t her fault, and even though I love her…I want her to be happy. My love has evolved over the years, you could say. Gram Pam summed it up the other day calling it puppy love. Now, I’m not sure how I feel about Doug. Only because I don’t really know him, but he’s growing on me,” I laugh.

  “Good to hear, son. Doug is a good man. He loves my girl and shows her every chance he gets. Believe me. He’s been put through the ringer with all the family over the past few years. He’s gained each of every one of our respect. He even asked me for my permission to ask her to marry him. I know you have to form your own opinion. But give him a chance, yeah?”

  “Yeah, I will and thanks. I appreciate your taking the time to talk to me about this. I feel weird now, though, knowing everyone knew,” I say, bowing my head.

  “Don’t. We didn’t. We all thought it was cute, and honestly, I liked knowing you were always looking out for her. Wouldn’t have wanted it any other way,” Uncle Chance says, pulling me in for a hug. “Let’s get back.”

  I seem to be getting a lot of heart to hearts while I’m home. I’m learning a few things in the process. One thing is predominate: I have a great family who looks out for one another and loves me.

  When we get back to the table, Uncle Bradley stands and comes over to ask if he can talk to me.

  “Okay, hold on everybody. Uncle Bradley, please sit back down. Listen, it seems like everyone feels the need to have a heart to heart with me tonight, so in order for me to actually get to eat, drink a few beers, and relax, let me just say something. First, Doug I don’t want this to be uncomfortable for you. My family all seems to speak of you in high regard. I’d like to form my own opinion, but your happily ever after is just a few days away. I’m sure you already know most of this and it seems my family all knew too.

  “Growing up I had told Akia that I was going to marry her. I loved her for as long as I can remember. She didn’t feel the same. I was pissed that we were raised to believe we were family and that was the reason she felt we could never be together. Although now I realized it was more about her not having the same feelings, family or not. That wasn’t the reason why I left. I always felt like I was being smothered in this small town and I needed to get out there and experience the country.

  “Coming home has been an eye opener for me. I realize that my family is simply incredible. That what Mom always said is in fact true. The bond we have goes deeper than blood. I’m okay with all of this, I’m good. I still love Akia, but that love is different. I no longer feel that feeling in my gut like I used to. I want her to be happy, and I know it was never meant to be with me. So please, for the love of God, can we just move along and eat?”

  Uncle Bradley starts clapping, “Z-man…great speech. But I was just going to ask if you brought any of the good weed home with you.”

  “Besides,” Uncle Bruce pipes in. “Mom already told us that you have your eyes set on a certain little handler at the farm.”

  I pull my hat off my head and rub it nervously. “Isn’t anything sacred around here?”

  Getting a slap on the back from Dad, he says, “Nope. Welcome home, boy.”

  I finally get to eat my now cold burger and suck down a few beers. The conversation is flowing, and I’m learning more about Doug in the process. I like him. I really do. I also trust my family and they all really like him like he’s already a part of us.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Date Night

  Zeke

  I got home pretty late last night. The first thing I did was go to my window and look over at the main house. The lights were all off. I was disappointed I may have missed another show.

  Tonight I get to take her out though. So that makes up for it in a way. I have something special planned. At least, I hope she will think so. I haven’t seen her at all today, but it gives me time to get my thoughts together and be prepared.

  I have Gram Pam helping me put together a nice picnic dinner. She has a nice wicker basket that closes to put everything into. I pack up one of the four wheelers with a small table and two chairs, some candles, and all the dinnerware that I’ll need. I found a few boxes of the small white Christmas lights and head up to the gazebo. There is electric run up there, so I know that I’ll be able to plug the lights in. I just hope they work.

  After checking that, thankfully, they all work, I string up the lights around the gazebo. I make a quick trip into town to pick up a various array of flowers. If there weren’t already a worn path to the gazebo, I would have made one from all the back and forth I’ve done today. I need this to be perfect. I have this feeling this is going to be a very important date for us. I get this feeling that she doesn’t think this is a real date. I need to make sure she understands that it is. I need to get to know her. I need to understand these feelings I’m having myself. I can’t stop thinking about her eyes and those sweet lips.

  I drive the four wheeler up to the front door of the farm house at about five minutes before six. I’m dressed in a pair of khaki’s and a button down shirt. Holding a bouquet of flowers, I feel my palms sweating as I ring the doorbell.

  “Such a gentleman,” Gram Pam says as she answers the door. “So dashing, too. Come on in. Gracie will be down in a minute. Poor girl is a nervous wreck.” She whispers the last part.

  “I’m a little nervous myself, Gram Pam,” I say, rubbing my hand over my smooth head.

  “Just be you and it will be just fine. Plus, this is a really sweet first date. How are you going to top this one? You’ve set those expectations pretty high there, boy.”

  “I think she may be worth it. If I do get more dates, I’ll just have to come up with something or try to play it off that these only happen for special occasions.”

  I hear movement from upstairs and when I glance up, I see a vision. I’ve only seen Gracie wearing a ball cap, and of course her hair wet through the window.

  What I’m looking at takes my breath away. Her hair is down and flowing around her shoulders. She’s wearing a cute little sundress that hugs hers curves perfectly. She’s carrying a sweater, which is good since it may get a little chilly on the hill this evening.

  “You look beautiful, Gracie,” I stutter. “Shit, I wasn’t thinking you would wear a dress…hold on.”

  “I can change!” I hear her call out as I turn and rush out the door.

  “No, just wait, give me a second. You look amazing. Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

  I shove the flowers into Gram’s hands and rush out the door and over to the building that houses all the ATV’s. I grab the key to the side by side and climb in. I pull it out as fast as I can, causing a cloud of dust to engulf me. I’m coughing as I get back to the front door. Gram Pam and Gracie are both laughing.

  “Sorry, let’s start this over,” I say around another cough. I snag the flowers out of Gram’s hands and push them into Gracie’s, who is now standing on
the front porch.

  “Thank you, Zeke, they are beautiful,” she says as she lifts them to her nose and takes in a deep breath.

  I take her by the hand and lay a gentle kiss to the top. “Ready?”

  “Umm…yeah. Where are we going in the side by side?” she laughs.

  “You’ll see,” I simply say as I lead her to the ATV and sit her in the passenger side.

  I try to calm my nerves. Dammit, I’m screwing this up already. Why didn’t I think she would be wearing a dress? Of course, she would. She looks incredible.

  “Zeke, I could have changed, really I didn’t know,” she says, still smelling the flowers.

  “Hell no, it was faster to switch ATV’s. Plus, it would be a crime to rob me of looking at those gorgeous legs all evening,” I respond.