Finding Solace (The Finding Series Book 4) Read online

  “Woah, slow down there, cowboy. Two kids max, and I thought I rambled. Do I have a say in anything of this?” I ask, getting to my feet.

  “Of course, you do, I’m just throwing out ideas. What you got?” he asks.

  “Nothing…I got nothing to add. It sounds perfect,” I say, smiling and walking into his arms. “I especially like the idea of a huge closet.”

  “Sound like an old married couple already,” I hear Pam mumble and laugh. “I’m heading to my room for the night. I love you two. Good night.”

  She pulls Zeke’s head down and kisses the top of his head and gives me a kiss on the cheek, disappearing into her room.

  “Wow. I’m a little overwhelmed. Did that just happen?” I ask, burying my face in Zeke’s neck.

  “I think so. Damn, not even home five minutes and we have a house. Seems to me that our destiny is happening without our intervention. Pretty amazing actually. I knew the moment I saw you things were going to be good,” he says, kissing my temple.

  “So, what now? I’m not sure what to do or where to go,” I laugh.

  “Well depending on when the addition is done and when we can get started on the upstairs, I say we stay at the apartment. We never did really get an answer on that, but I don’t want to disturb Gram Pam,” he responds.

  “Can we just stay here tonight? No funny business, though. I don’t know if there’s anything over there yet and I’m beat,” I say, backing up to look into his eyes.

  “Yeah, true. I’m tired, too. Let me go out and get a few bags so at least I’ll have clothes in the morning,” he says, smacking my ass and walking to the door.

  “I’m going to head up and get ready for bed,” I say to his back.

  He throws his thumb up in the air, making me laugh. I stand and take a look around imagining some little changes I can make. I have a house. I have a house and I have Zeke. I smile all the way up the steps picturing framed photos of us and our family lining the walls. I glance into the master bedroom and think about what color I’m going to paint it and how that California king is going to look sweet in there. I’m in bed and half asleep when I feel Zeke crawl under the covers and pull me against him in a spooning position.

  I fall asleep with his heat warming my back and dream about all the things I’ve always wanted to do in this house and now can do them with the added bonus of a man at my side.

  Zeke

  I wake up the next morning to an empty bed. I hear noises coming from downstairs and the smell of food and coffee hit my nose. My stomach growls, and I instantly jump up and throw on my sleep pants and a t-shirt. I quickly use the bathroom and wash my face and hands. I went a few days without shaving so I can see the dark hair start to show on the top of my head. My beard needs trimmed as well. I look a little ragged. Shrugging my shoulder, I rush down the steps to find Gracie and Gram Pam standing side by side at the stove laughing.

  “My two favorite girls,” I announce and both of them jump. Laughing, I walk over to the coffee pot and pour myself a cup.

  “You had to hear me coming down the steps, why so jumpy?” I say, taking a slow sip and looking at them over the rim.

  “For as muscular as you are, you have light feet. I’ve told you that you are ninja like all the time, Zeke,” Gracie says, coming over and giving me a kiss. She scratches my beard and points over to the table. “Sit, breakfast is almost finished.”

  After breakfast, I throw on some work clothes. I walk outside and see Uncle Bruce coming around the side of the house.

  “Hey, see you made it home. Did Mom tell you yet?” Uncle Bruce asks, giving me a big hug.

  “Yeah, and I’m still a little shocked. I was planning on helping Gracie out around the farm, but I sort of want to help you, if that’s alright?” I ask.

  “Absolutely. The faster we get this done, the faster we can start getting things done in the main house for you and Gracie. Have you thought about what you want to do, if anything?” he asks.

  I run through some of the plans that I expressed last night and a few more I thought of this morning. “I would like to turn the downstairs bedroom into an office. There are going to be times I can bring things home instead of working late at the precinct. Plus, there’s opportunities for some consulting work in D.C. I really don’t want to have to go down there if I don’t have to, so it will give me somewhere to work. But I’m also thinking of putting in a half bathroom as well, if that will work,” I say.

  “That room is fairly large, I don’t think there will be an issue with breaking it into two rooms. You don’t need much for a half bath either. Sounds like a great plan,” Uncle Bruce says.

  We walk to the side of the house and I’m stunned. “You did all this in a week?” I ask.

  “Hell no. We’ve been working on this since we found out you were coming home and Mom got a bur up her butt to give you the house, which we all think is fantastic, by the way. I’m good, but I’m not that good,” he says laughing.

  Gracie comes bouncing out of the house with her jeans and work boots and a flannel on. “Hey, Bruce. Your son is a damn slave driver. I called to see when he wanted me back in rotation and he said to get my lazy ass to the barn, lovingly of course.” She stops short and looks at the addition that looks done from the outside. “Oh my God. I guess I am gullible after all. You told me this was going to be an extra storage shed for the ATV’s in order to make room in the garage. I can’t believe I fell for it.”

  “I was wondering how the hell you didn’t know what was going on. From the outside, it looks just about done,” I say, pulling Gracie into my arms.

  “We need to bust through to the mud room, which Mom wanted to be last to keep the surprise, and finish up some painting. We can start moving her things over in a couple of days,” Bruce says, opening the outside door and motioning us in.

  “Holy shit. This is amazing,” I say, pulling Gracie inside with me.

  There’s a full open floor plan with high vaulted ceilings. The one side is completely made up of floor to ceiling windows and French doors. Bruce explains that eventually he’s going to build her a deck so she has a place to sit outside. I see the section that is partially framed in, ready to be busted through to the mud room. It’s beside the kitchen which has all the top of the line appliances.

  “This is really gorgeous, Bruce. Okay, I need to get going before William starts blowing up my phone,” she says as she gives me a kiss and Bruce a hug and bounces out of the door.

  “That girl has never bounced. Stomped, yes, but never bounced,” Uncle Bruce says, smiling.

  “Really? Well I remember her pony tail always bouncing or swinging. Anyway, she seems to bounce all the time around me,” I say, pulling the bill of my hat down and smiling.

  “Okay enough about Gracie, what do you need me to do?” I ask, clapping my hands and rubbing them together.

  I end up finishing up the last of the painting. I’m surprised that there is no smell. Bruce is moving in a new sectional that he bought for his mom as Gram Pam stands pointing to where she wants it set up. There’s a few of his guys finishing up the door after they broke through the wall.

  Bruce has one of the largest construction companies in the area. It works in his favor when he needs stuff done for the family. His vision is incredible and his talent is top notch. What he has built for his mom is really gorgeous. It’s new and updated, yet fits into the whole farm house extension. It blends in perfectly and seamlessly.

  The front door suddenly opens and I see Uncle Bradley and Aunt Carrie walk in with their arms full of groceries. My mom and dad come in shortly after carrying bag as well. My mom looks up and sees me and drops the bags. My mom is tiny. I mean really tiny. But she is fierce. She pushes everyone out of her way and practically tackles me.

  “My baby boy is home! You are really home!” She grabs my face and starts kissing me all over.

  “Mom, come on. You are practically slobbering on me,” I say, laughing.

  “But my baby is home,” sh
e says, squeezing the life out of me.

  “Did someone order pizza?” I hear Gracie’s voice call out as she comes in carrying a few boxes of pizza. “They were banging on the main house door. Someone owes me five bucks I paid for the tip.”

  Bradley digs out his wallet and pulls out five bucks. “She’s cute, Zeke, but a cheap ass.”

  “She’s beautiful and that ass is definitely not cheap. It’s luscious, actually,” I say, stepping up and taking her ass into my hands.

  “I was just teasing, guys! Stop getting all alpha male, Z-man,” Uncle Bradley says laughing.

  We end up standing around the long island that separates the kitchen from the living room eating pizza, talking, and laughing. I look around and think about all the times that I spent alone eating pizza in my condo. I realize that on any given night, at any given moment, I could have had this with my family, enjoying a simple night of pizza, together. But since I felt the need to explore the world and leave them all behind, I missed out on it all. A great evening with my family and the girl who fits into the fold perfectly. I vow to always remember this moment and never forget how it made me feel. It’s like I’m feeling this sense of comfort, a feeling of solace that I’ve never known to exist. I’m finally where I need to be and it’s never felt more like home. The place where I truly belong.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Beginnings

  Gracie

  We got Pam all moved in and settled. It seems that she’s really enjoying her new space because she has been scarce in the main house. The renovations are coming along quick. Zeke’s office and the powder room is done. The master bathroom is almost done, too. We ordered a new bed, a California King of course, which should be in next week. Bruce even went ahead and build his mom a deck outside her French doors.

  I miss her, though. I spent many mornings cooking breakfast before I made my daily rounds with her. It’s almost Thanksgiving and it’s a rough time of year for me. I lost my mom a few years ago to cancer right after Thanksgiving. I tried to convince my dad to let me move back home, but he insisted that I needed to live my own life and that he was fine. I still worry about him.

  I’m feeling a little depressed, which happens around this time, of course. Pam was always there to help talk me through it. She means so much to me and I get emotional just thinking about it. It’s stupid because she’s literally steps away, but her constant presence just isn’t there anymore.

  Zeke is still sleeping since I seem to wake before the sun even starts to peak over the horizon. I make a pot of coffee and pour myself a cup. I’ve been feeling really emotional lately and think it’s probably just due to being around that time of the month. I wrap myself into my favorite quilt and step outside. The air is crisp and there is no sound to be heard.

  I hear a clearing of a throat and realize it must be Pam on her deck. Excited, I round the corner of the addition and see her sipping on her own cup of coffee and wrapped in a blanket.

  “Hey, you,” I say, stepping on the deck and taking a seat next to her.

  “Hey, Gracie. It’s a beautiful morning, huh?” Pam says, reaching out and grabs my hand.

  I instantly start crying. I don’t know why but I can’t seem to stop. I get this overwhelming feeling of total sadness.

  “Oh honey, why are you crying?” she says, squeezing my hand.

  “I have no idea,” I say, laughing and crying at the same time. “I miss you? It’s that time of the month? It’s that time of the year? I don’t know.”

  “Oh, sweetheart. I know I haven’t been that present, but I really love this place. I want you and Zeke to have your privacy, too. I don’t want you to think that I’ve abandoned you. I’m only a few steps and a little door away from you,” she says, reaching out and wiping the tears from my face. “I know this is a hard time of year for you. Is your dad going to come to Thanksgiving this year?”

  I take a deep breath and blow it out. “I think so. I hope so. He looked good the last time I saw him and sounded good. He said that he’s going out and hanging with some of his old buddies again.”

  “That’s good. I know it’s hard. Everything okay with you and Zeke?” she asks.

  “He’s perfect, Pam. I don’t know what I did to deserve a man like him. He’s loving and attentive and funny. I really love him. I’ve never felt this way about someone before in my life. It’s almost unbelievable.” I finally stop crying.

  “Gracie. You deserve happy. I’m happy for you and for Zeke. Never doubt that you should have this happy. You both deserve it,” she says.

  “Will you come make breakfast with me like old times? I really think I need that right now. We can talk about our plan for Thanksgiving. I still want everyone to come here like all the other years. I hope no one thinks that will change with all that has happened lately. This is still your house and I want to keep on with the tradition. We can open the door to your place and fill both places with everyone,” I say, getting excited.

  “That sounds like a wonderful idea. Help me up and let’s cook and plan,” she says laughing.

  Just having Pam back in the kitchen helps settle me. When Zeke finally comes down, he kisses us both and mentioned how much he missed us cooking breakfast. Even not being around it much, he gets it. He felt that connection of having Pam around. I know I need to let it go and let her live her life just as I need to live my own, but it’s just not that easy.

  Zeke

  I wake to the smell of food and voices from downstairs. I slip on a pair of sleep pants and make my way to the kitchen. I know that I haven’t been here through the years, but I know how much Gracie has been missing Pam. She has seemed depressed lately or off, I’m not sure. Seeing them together in the kitchen brings a sense of happiness. The smile on my girl’s face is breath taking and I want to make sure I keep it there.

  We finish up breakfast and I tell Gracie that I’ll clean up and to go ahead and head out to make her rounds. I gather all the dishes from the table and head over to the sink.

  “You know about her mom, right?” Gram Pam asks.

  “Yeah, she lost her around this time, right? Is that why she’s been so emotional lately? I know she misses you, too, but it seemed like it was more. I’ve been trying to be there, but she doesn’t seem to want to talk about it and I’ve not tried to push the issue. I don’t want her to be sad. I’ve felt lost trying to make her happy or trying to make it better.”

  “Zeke, just keep doing what you are doing. She loves you. I wasn’t thinking myself, and I’m sorry I didn’t realize how my lack of presence would affect her so much,” Gram says. “She’s been a part of the family for a few years now. I felt like I needed to step back and let you to have your privacy.”

  “I love that she’s so welcomed into this family because I plan to make it official. I feel like she’s more a part of it than me. I’m here now and I plan to step up and change that,” I say, giving her a hug.

  “Ezekiel James, you need to stop that. You are a part of this family. You were lost for a while, but you are back now. We are grateful to have you and I personally look forward to many years of memories.”

  “Many, many years. You better be prepared to live into your hundreds, because I need to make up for lost time,” I say, holding her tighter and kissing the top of her head.

  Gracie

  I feel better after being able to cook with Pam this morning. These damn emotions have just been overwhelming. I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat. I know that it’s about that time of the month, but it seems like more. I feel exhausted all the time and I’m constantly horny. It’s like I could just jump Zeke’s bones every time he is around.

  I’m oiling up the saddles and putting them up when I get a sharp pain. It makes me bend over and grab my stomach. I take a few breaths and the pain subsides. What the hell was that?

  Zeke is hanging with his dad tonight, so I called Akia to hang out. I finish showering and look at my pills and notice that I’m on the week I should start my period
. I have yet to start. I shrug it off and throw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie and head out to meet up with Akia.

  I get to the restaurant the same time Akia does. We walk in together arm and arm and get seated.

  “I have some news that I don’t want you to share just yet. It’s early, but I need to tell someone…I’m pregnant,” she says, smiling from ear to ear.

  “Oh my God! That is wonderful! How far along are you?” I ask.

  “Almost three months. I think it happened on the honeymoon. We wanted to try right away, but I never thought it would happen so fast. My body has taken on a mind of its own. I mean, my boobs have swelled and I seem to tingle. It’s the weirdest thing ever, but so far, no sickness. I can tell something is different, but I feel normal at the same time. It’s really weird,” Akia laughs, placing a hand on her belly.